—d. antoinette foy—
screensaver….
Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me — so different that I had to stretch and grow in order to recognize her. And in that growing, we came to separation, that place where work begins.
— Audre Lorde —
unmarked trails (invitation)…
It is a serious thing
just to be alive
on this fresh morning
in this broken world.
— Mary Oliver —
one-half of wisdom…
You cannot love someone into deserving you.
— r.h. Sin —
follow your inner moonlight…
Two qualities are indispensable:
first, an intellect that, even in the darkest hour, retains some glimmerings of the inner light which leads to truth; and second, the courage to follow this faint light wherever it may lead.
— Carl von Clausewitz —
not the first…
Dear Gentle Sir,
I loved a man who was afraid of the Possible – the enormity of it. With me, he began to experience himself in his truest dimensions, that is, until he couldn’t bear it. So, he blamed me for his growing fear. He became afraid of me, not realizing it had nothing to do with me; I simply showed up and held up a mirror. He looked. He saw. He chose another – as is his wont. He prefers that which keeps him, contains him, controls him.
But even now, it is still in him – all that is Possible.
And it still has nothing to do with me.
These days, he tells himself things are great, that he is in a better place than ever before but he’s a step beside where he was before me: he is still small; he remains secretly, deeply afraid of the enormity of himself, of his own Light. He is happiest when he can hide.
Where once there was love, there now lives insight and a kind of wounded wisdom. Every time I kiss you, I wonder if you will (again), like him, take your turn and blame me for your fear? Or will you focus on my nipples, my glowing clit, and hot moans… hoping to drown out the terrifying call of what is Possible within you? Of the choices you are too afraid to make?
Truth is, it won’t be the first time.
I imagine you won’t try to be the last.
If I’m still here, that is.
Thoughtfully Yours,
Lola xo
the story of now…
light up the darkness…
excerpts from the once-blind…
A man once told me that I make the trees turn on.
My presence, a switch that illuminates
his dark world, making it brighter and alive.
But his words, like so many others, were hollow —
mere shadows of the same dark,
delusions of an escape he hid inside.
His fear of freedom was
an echo I chose not to hear.
…
Stories like this, I wish weren’t true. I wish such stories weren’t mine. The ones I care about now feature you. Stories that promise more hours in a day to hear you cum. Stories that feature me climbing on top of you and sliding your cock inside, all the way to its meaty end. Where I bend over and you, on your knees, push your tongue between my lines and suckle me into tears of writhing, wanton pleasure.
Just like you’ve done before.
But more.
And again.
When you touch me, let me look. Let me watch pleasure overtake your jawline. When you kiss me, let me tremble with you. Let my pussy soak my panties before you undress me. When you moan with me, let me grip your thickening cock with the urgency I feel. Let me lick my lips in preparation to please you. Let me be my own light while you bask in your own – our skin entwined, ever-curious.
Just…
Don’t be afraid.
Don’t lie to me.
Don’t confuse me with someone
who is nothing without you,
is blind, afraid enough to possess you
or just walks away.
I’m not her.
Even when I forget to be…
I’m only and ever me.
quietness…
Inside this new love, die.
Your way begins on the other side.
Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone suddenly born into color.
Do it now.
You’re covered with thick clouds.
Slide out the side. Die,
and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign
that you’ve died.
Your old life was a frantic running
from silence.
The speechless full moon
comes out now.
— Rumi —