scylla and charybdis…

To grip your beautiful hard in my hand is to lick the bottom of an ice cream cone filled with my most favourite flavour. Ever. To watch your head fall back as my fingers disappear between my silky smooth folds is to feel my heart fall soft and free into my throat with each peaking roller coaster dive. To moan our pleasure in unison is to wake to the smell of fresh brewed coffee and bacon on the grill; it is home.  To return your reach and hold you is to dream a dream I once lived.
For a moment.

the auberge at bay…

You walk ahead of me in the hallway
look over your shoulder and
reach for me
with your left hand.

I have to skip to catch up
to your long legs.

Your reach is unexpected
and the way your eyes find me
in the moment before
I take your hand
my heart skips a beat
too.

For some reason
these tiny moments
the way you ask for me
and the way
you hold me as we walk
(if I may be so bold)
delight
and soothe me
reassure me
even satiate me
in the way that one
discovers themselves content
with exactly the right dessert.

All this in spite of
the pull
and ease
of my acceptance
all this despite
one simple truth:

I don’t want you to leave
your absence is
it is
the very last thing
I want.

You enter the elevator
gorgeous broad back to me
I whisper
your name
I tuck you into my secrets
as I wish
and want you
to reach for me again
and take me
guide me
on our way to bed
naked
safe
ready.

As the doors of the elevator pause
I reach for you
inside myself
I want to drink deeply
and allow the hunger
to be seen
I want your nose against
my skin
but not like that time before.

This time will be different.

Because with me
you can be most like yourself
it is my gift to you
no hiding
apologies unnecessary
even forbidden
as you remember
the heat you are
you will forget
how or why you ever said “no.”
You will hear your power
harmonize and crescendo
with mine
my moans
and cries.
You will delight like I do in
our sweet – nest
you will believe
you will reach
and embrace the beauty
that you are
that I already see in you.

For the briefest of moments
you will understand why
I can’t resist you.

And we will kiss.

Even as your back turns
even as the doors
seal away your smile
for who knows how long
(time and space have now
turned against me)
I stand there
breathless
already missing you.

And all you did
was reach for me
in the way you do
but it seems
that was enough
to find me.

– Lola Moi –

you cum to me in dreams…

You are the colour of wheat.  The hairs on your arm make me think of grass and singed hay and I smile when your cool touch reminds me of dirt. I don’t know why but I like you.  I like us. I want to belong to you. I want this to matter.  I want you to smile at my arm resting beside yours and forget this place where I live.  This silky that rolls over and about my bones, that slithers over my blood, that sighs and lolls about in the hot glare of other men’s eyes.

my dreams