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while i invisibly remain standing…

I don’t need you to paint a picture for me; I know what it is to feel you beside me. I know how it feels to look at you and silently name you “Friend” and “Lover” and “Beloved.” These quiet truths I solemnly commit to memory. They rock me to my core — not unlike the silken tip of your throbbing cock that wakes you from day-walking and deepest sleep… insistent.

We have found ourselves in this place that only makes sense when we are both here; this hallowed space we have created and nurtured and grown. I know what it is to feel your eyes on me and not want to hide. I know what it is to spread myself wide and feel your depths inside me. I am the light shining through each achy, heady bead of pre-cum bliss.

Invisible, we are everywhere. Tonite, now: I run my finger along the smooth, downy-soft topside of my clit. I do this for you. I do this for me. You will likely forget my small, tender creases of secret pleasure but never forget how each is stamped with your name. It is so simple: I want to make love to you as badly as I want to fuck you. Our withdrawal gives me the shakes.

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say it again…

Dear Gentle Sir,

There is that moment before I appear: it is the breath that catches you – not the other way around. It is the moment you didn’t know you needed to capture and hold because once I appear, everything changes; each and every time.

You tell yourself that this time is like any other time; you and I are here, together, seeing one another and really, it’s no big deal; we are here in this way, as we must be. But your body… and the surprising way your heart just tripped – barely a little – tells the true story of us.

You say it’s me but you surprise yourself, constantly; the way your skin reaches for mine through each inhale. (Don’t worry, we won’t discuss the ways you try not to smell me on your clothes moments, hours, days later.)

In fact, the way my head tilts as I listen does not make you want to sink into silence as you softly – deftly – bring out the tender, fervid treasure of secret pleasures within me.  And when my hair falls out of its tie, over my shoulders, and spills down my back, that is not an impulse to nibble my clit or lick me anywhere; you are immune to what has been and whatever might have…

When we laugh together, those tingles racing, racing, down and out and in and through your body are not because my boisterous laugh pleases your nor does it make you want to make me happy; you are not inspired by me. After all.

There is that moment before you check your watch: it is the pause before we touch one last time that claims your hope. It is the moment you didn’t know you needed to capture and hold because once I disappear, everything changes; each and every time.

Kiss,

Lola xo

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fever pitch…

You place me at the perfect height: our eyes peer directly into the other’s. your hips gently push my legs apart as you move in to kiss me.  And like today’s welcome rain, the tenderness of your lips refreshes me like each drop of cleansing, wet air. We pause to simply drink one another in. Your gaze incites release. I feel my heart sob with joy.

I trace your sweet face and with each adoring sweep, I hold you so that I might give you the gift that lesser men have quailed from: I see you with open eyes. I accept your imperfect, scared smallest self. I smile, willing a courage I barely recognize myself. My fingertips imprint light into every crack they find. I trust, and in this, I offer you the best of myself.

You can feel pressure inside your chest building; it builds inside the history of your borders and boundaries, inside what others have forbidden and allowed, inside the dam that barely holds your fear at bay. You feel lost inside all this… space. Permission. You look down, away from me.

“It… feels… too much,” you say.
“To be found?” I ask.

Startled, you meet my eyes. And suddenly kiss me again. This time, on my temples, my brow, my high cheekbones, my sweet dimples, and full lips. Your hands hold me as your body urgently speaks words you’re not yet brave enough to say.

Your fingers deftly – tenderly – slide from my knee, up my velvety inner thigh and lighty… so so lightly, your fingers move up and down, inching closer to the wet that swells my pussy.  Reaching the velvety corner deep between my legs, between my thighs and mound, you look at me again, intent. You watch my expression as your fingers slowly so slowly flip and dance, back and forth – this time moving closer to my swollen, pulsing lips.

The fever has pitched. My petal-soft folds moan their pleasure through my throat. It comes out a gasping breath, a call and response led by my voice saying your name. My panties now to the side, I lean back with my long legs spread and I hook my calves and feet around you.

This time our shared gaze smolders. This time, when you put your fingers in my mouth, one-by-one, your jaw drops a little with anticipation. My looking at you is unadorned.  I want you inside me so fucking much. I am hunger and need and promise personified. I am yours. We are your bidding…