Tag Archives: what lies in wait

waiting for this…

I’m not writing a postscript when I look into your eyes and say “yes.” I’m not begging for fantasy when I let you watch me cum, my throat exposed to the steamy air we share. I’m not seeking the dark when I run my fingers through your hair—my every exhale a shiver of light.

I’m here. I’ve been here all along.

its own kind of freedom…

I wrote love notes of various kinds… here and there… hoping I really was seen, feeling against thinking that perhaps finally, my trust was worth giving. I thot: this is what all those story books and fairytales were trying to describe. Swept off my feet, I fell.

Too late I realized I was wrong: when you looked at me, it was not a promise, it was not a meeting of well-mets; it was a warning.

… so many love notes.

Human hearts are fragile, made particularly malleable thanks to the mind-bending heat of misguided belief. Pain births deeper understanding as it sinks into scars you believed to be healed (or, at least, healing). Blame, lies, disrespect, and silence disappears love. We become rank with longing for something that never really was.

This is the struggle to Living.
This is why we pray for blindness.
Loving the Wrong One illuminates if our soul stays open.
I see you even more clearly now but more: I see me.

this is what we (don’t) do…

this is what we (don't) do

At any moment, you have a choice,
that either leads you closer to your spirit
or further away from it.

— Thich Nhat Hanh —

the hummingbirds…

the hummingbirds



… all I can do is let you know
they’re here somewhere.

All I can do is tell you
by putting my own hunger on the page.

— Mary Oliver —




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