whatever he is…

What is love but acceptance of the other,
whatever he is.

– Anaïs Nin –

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6 Responses to “whatever he is…”

  1. NormalDeviations May 30, 2013 at 1:19 pm #

    So many places I could go with this…

    “In mindfulness, acceptance always comes first, change comes after.”
    –Shamash Alidina

    • secretthots May 30, 2013 at 1:40 pm #

      I love this quote. I struggle with it but still, it’s a keeper. Thanks.

  2. NormalDeviations May 30, 2013 at 1:23 pm #

    Okay, I can’t put it to rest without more…

    It goes full-circle in a way, again. What acceptance can there be unless we’re aware of another? And it can’t begin without being allowed to see another, instead of our subjective vision…

    • secretthots May 30, 2013 at 1:42 pm #

      And, as I’m gleaning from my own ‘investigations,’ what acceptance can there be unless we’re aware of ourselves? And in seeing our own depth (of brokenness, of need, of pain, of potential, of beauty et al.), are we able to objectively offer ourselves to the world…

      • NormalDeviations May 30, 2013 at 2:01 pm #

        That leads to all sorts of tangents, eh?

        What does it mean to be aware of ourselves? For all of us, we try to want compromise that includes being more acceptable for another(s) which makes us slightly different – or greatly different – than our intrinsic nature.

        When it’s ‘greatly different’ is when it seems to be breaking our subjective awareness of self.

        What we’re able to see objectively is a myth, I believe. What seems broken to us may be viewed as beneficial to others. What we may see as potential or beauty in ourselves may be seen negatively by others.

        In essence, that objectivity seems to be tied to our belief in ourselves rather than awareness. I think? Or am I missing something you mean?

  3. secretthots May 30, 2013 at 3:05 pm #

    I’m kinda just riding the tangent… 😉

    I hear you when you offer up objectivity as a myth. I suppose yes, we are reflections of our experiences and by extension, those who have informed those experiences reflect us back to ourselves. And in many ways, this influences not only how we come to know ourselves but also how we frame our response to ourselves.

    I think I was suggesting that objectivity is tied to (self) acceptance of the unique ways in which we are recovering from our histories and on-going humanity. This process of acceptance might help us be more discerning when choosing what to accept re: others’ reflections of us (and personal objectivity requires that we don’t get to only accept the ‘good’). But then again, if you don’t put on your big girl/ boy meta-panties, you run the risk of only ever living your life as someone else’s reflection (of you).

    Then again, in many ways, I’m beginning to think that Beliefs in any form are ultimately something we learned or were taught – either by others or by ourselves (as coping/ survival mechanisms). I wonder if awareness is more a tool that helps us define what we believe? And if so, then our lives are not only about enacting these beliefs but trying to be (objectively) aware when these beliefs about ourselves or about how the world views us, shift/ morph/ evolve… and then evolving along with our growing awareness of self – objectively, with as little judgement as possible…

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