But good sex is, I think, worth creating with someone. It’s worth the time, energy, patience, and communication it takes to learn about each other’s bodies, physical scars, the kinds of touch each person wants, the kinds of licking or not-licking, the positions, the kisses, the vanilla parts, the kinky parts, the pace and rhythm of parts of sex and of the whole act. Having grown up playing violin in an orchestra, I think of the Saturdays we spent practicing together, sometimes perfecting a few bars in the middle of a piece and other times starting from the top and trying to get all the way through to the end. Sex is a bit like that. Sometimes you’re trying to get something as concrete as oral sex down. Other times you’re trying to improve the bigger picture.
– Dr. Debby Herbenick –
